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Star Trek in the 20th Century (again)

By: Maggie

Disclaimer: Hmmm.... it would be easier to list the characters I actually DO own! (Writer 1 and 2!!) Than attempt to apologize for all the broken copyrights on the characters that I don't! So sorry, please don't sue me!!

Janeway: Oh god, not again!
Tom: Sorry, but for some reason Star Ships from the future always end up on 20th century earth
Harry: Should we beam down?
Tom: Yeah, but this time I think Tuvok should wear something better over his ears, and stay away from FBI agents
7of9: And didn't you die in the last episode
Tuvok: Yes, but they had to revive me because of my contract
Harry: And since when are you a bridge officer?
7of9: I come up here whenever I please because I give this show better ratings
Harry: Oh
Janeway: So are we going down there or not?
Tuvok: I suppose so
(they beam down)
Tom: Did anyone else notice that we didn't go to the transporter room?
Janeway: Stupid cheep writers
(Quinn walks past them)
Tuvok: Weren't you dead?
Quinn: Weren't you?
Tuvok: They brought me back because of my contract
Quinn: Oh, they brought me back because of my hair
Tom: Hey I have better hair then you do!
Harry: Actually Tom, I've always had better hair than you
Tom: Did not!
Chakotay: Actually I have the best hair
Janeway: Oh please
Chakotay: What's that supposed to mean?
Tom: That your hair cut, stinks
(everyone arguing)
(Wade comes up)
Wade: Does anyone know how the heck I can get to the Emerald City!
Tom: God you never give up do you
Wade: Oh, it's the weirdoes again, great another stupid fanfic crossover story
Quinn: Actually I think it's pretty funny, come on Sabrina we have to find Maggie and Remmy
(they walk off)
Tom: did anyone notice that in the last episode Remmy hardly said anything at all?
Janeway: Yeah
Tom: Tuvok, there's something I've always wanted to ask you
Tuvok: And what is that?
Tom: Why do Vulcans look so much like humans?
Harry: Even I can answer that one. It's because on the original Star Trek series they didn't have enough money to make them look like aliens, so they slapped a piece of clay on their ears, made them do that Live Long and Prosper thing and called them Vulcans
Tuvok: Actually it's because many years ago our two species were one
Harry: Sure, you just keep on tellin yourself that
(Mulder and Scully walk in)
Scully: You're never going to find those people from another dimension again!
Mulder: Well how about the people from the future?
Scully: Oh please Mulder, I killed one of them why would they come back?
Mulder: Well number one we were both dead and we came back and number two, they're standing right behind you
Scully: Yeah right Mulder and as soon as I turn around you'll put ice down my back
Tuvok: Don't Live Long and Turn Around
(she turns around)
Scully: Oh hi! And how are you, and sorry about that killing thing, I think we can all put that behind us now
Tom: Sure why not! Do you know where that Buffy chick is?
Mulder: No, we don't
Scully: Have you seen those people from another dimension?
Janeway: Actually we just saw them
Mulder: Which way did they go?
Janeway: I don't know
Tom: Yes we do that went.
Janeway: Shhh
Tom: What!
Janeway: Maybe we do know where they went
Scully: Fine, what do you want
Janeway: A new chief security officer
Tuvok: I do not see the need in getting a new chief security officer, I get the job done proficiently
Janeway: You were killed by a 20th century weapon!
Tuvok: This is true, but only because I didn't think she would fire her weapon
Scully: And what's with your ears?
Mulder: He's a Vulcan Scully
Scully: They named an alien race after me?
Mulder: No, he's just a Vulcan
Tuvok: I am not just a Vulcan, if I had feelings, I am sure you would be hurting them now
Mulder: No, she said, then I explained and why do I even bother
Harry: Because you need help?
Scully: Yeah, I think he does
Mulder: Well thanks
(they walk off talking)
Mulder: Have you ever realized how similar Sliders is to Quantum Leap?
Scully: Mulder, you're just being overly paranoid, as usual
Mulder: That's what they want you to believe
Scully: Who?
Mulder: They
Scully: Who's they?
Mulder: Do you know what your problem is Scully?
Scully: What?
Mulder: I don't know, but I'll figure it out
Scully: Hopefully before you find an alien
Mulder: What's that supposed to mean?
Scully: Haven't we had this conversation before?
Mulder: Maybe it's a time loop
Scully: No Mulder, it's not
(they walk off further)
Mulder: So Scully, do you still think it's just a coincidence?
Scully: Oh Mulder, grow up!
(Back to the Future Gang)
Tom: You know Mulder's right
Harry: Tom.
Tom: No really, think about it. There's the genius inventor guy, the Beckett people, they're both on the Sci-Fi channel, and Universal did both shows
Harry: That's the stupidest thing I ever heard
(out of no where, they hear a very loud fart)
Tom: Hey! Who cut the cheese!
Harry: Yuck, it stinks

----Will or heros ever find out who cut the cheese? Will Mulder and Scully ever find the Sliders? Will Tom ever see Buffy again? If he does, will Be'Lanna cut off his head? Find out next week, Same fanfic time, same fanfic channel!----

----------Part 2---------
(Max and 99 walk in)
(Max presses a button on a box, it makes that same fart noise as they heard before)
99: Max, put down the box before we all run out of air
Tom: Don't tell me your secret agents from an organization called Control
Max: We're secret agents from an organization called Control
Tom: I told you not to tell me that!
Janeway: Could you stop pressing that button
Max: I have to call the chief anyway and tell them that these spies from Chaos know who we are
(He takes off his shoe and dials)
Tom: Hey wait a minute, we're good guys
Harry: Yeah, Tom just happens to love watching re-runs of Get Smart
99: Then we'll be on our way, come on Max
(They walk off)
Tuvok: That was unusual
Chakotay: You can say that again
(they all jump)
Harry: Where did you come from?
Chakotay: Oh, I just went to get a hot dog, anyone else want one?
Tom: No that's OK
Chakotay: It's really good
Janeway: He doesn't want a hot dog
Tom: I have a question for you that I was wondering about
Janeway: Me?
Tom: No him
Chakotay: Me? What?
Tom: What's up with that tattoo?
Chakotay: What?
Tom: Never mind
(a girl comes running up to them)
Sidney: You have to help me
Tom: Do we know you?
Sid: The killer.he's after me
Tom: Hey, I know you, you're that person from Scream!
Sid: Yeah whatever, please help
Janeway: Where are those dumb FBI agents when you need em
(Mulder and Scully walk in)
Scully: See, I told you they didn't go that way
Chakotay: Gee Katharine, you sure called that one
Janeway: That's captain to you (turns to the FBI agents) Um. this girl here seems to need help
Sid: Yeah, there's this killer after me
Scully: Finally something normal
Sid: He killed all of my friends and even my boyfriend Derek
Tom: Wait a second, Jerry O'Connell played Derek in that movie! And he's Quinn!
Scully: I spoke too soon didn't I
Mulder: It's a conspiracy!
(Scully looks at Mulder like he's from outer space)
Scully: No Mulder it's not
Mulder: Then how come he was dating that girl from Buffy?
Tom: HE WAS!
Mulder: Yes he was
Tom: Ok, where is he, see now I have to kill him
Janeway: Tom, Be'Lanna kill, I ringing any bells?
Tom: Oh yeah!
Mulder: I still think this is a conspiracy!
Scully: You think everything's a conspiracy
Mulder: Do not
Scully: What about that talking Taco Bell dog
Mulder: Hey, no one's disproved that theory yet
Scully: Yeah, yet
Scully: And the Deep Impact/Armageddon thing? Does Hollywood know something we don't?
Mulder: Ok, that was one, one in a thousand that proved to be not true. And I still think Steven Spielberg was lying
(a man walks by)
Scully: (whispers)Mulder, that's the Cigarette Smacking Man!
Mulder: (whispers back)Scully, I think that's the Cigarette Smoking Man
Scully: (still whispering)Whatever
Mulder: Hey dude
CSM: Me?
Mulder: Yeah you
CSM: I'm just the Cigarette Smacking Man
Mulder: Don't you mean Smoking?
CSM: No Smacking, watch
(he takes out a pack of cigarettes and continues to smack them with his hand)
Scully: I told you Mulder
(CSM leaves)
Scully: This day just gets weirder and weirder
Mulder: This is weirder than our movie
Janeway: You were in a movie
Scully: Yeah, the X-Files movie..oh shoot
(she takes out her script and looks at it)
Scully: This day just can not get any weirder
(Two guys with capes walk in)
BM: Hey, do you know how to get to Gotham City?
Scully: Wrong again
Chakotay: No, but we saw a women a little while ago that was trying to get to the Emerald City
Robin: That doesn't help us
Tom: Wait a minute, aren't you Batman and Robin?
BM: Yes, you heard of us?
Scully: This is too much, who the heck wrote this thing anyway?
Harry: I don't know, but I really wanna find out so I can kick their butts
Tuvok: I happen to agree with Ens. Kim on this matter
(they walk off to where the writers are)
(they find them)
Janeway: Just as I thought!
Writer1: Hey that's not in the script!
Tom: You're the writers from the 4th season of Sliders!
Writer2: No we're not
Harry: Then why does this show stink!
Writer3: It's funny
Everyone: So!
Mulder: It's a conspiracy!
Everyone: NO!
Scully: Mulder, sit down (he sits down) Now so far on this stupid show.
Janeway: I resent that remark
Scully: Fine. So far on this Fairly Good Show, we've had the X-Files, Sliders, Sort of Buffy, Get Smart, Scream 1 or 2, The Cigarette Smacking Man, and Batman? What the heck are you guys doing!
Writer1: Well, see we hired all of them for separate shows, and it turns out that they could only make it today
Janeway: What about that guy from Seinfield that was supposed to be on our show?
(George from Seinfield walks in)
George: Sorry I'm late, where do I go?
Scully: I give up, come on Mulder
Mulder: Do you believe my conspiracy theory now?
Scully: I'm beginning to
Mulder: Yahoo!
Scully: Mulder, this is no time to go on the Internet
Mulder: Huh?
Janeway: Wasn't this supposed to be our show, when do you guys take over?
Scully: When we got better ratings.
Janeway: That's not very fair now is it
Scully: No, it's not
Mulder: And I have a question for you, Janeway
Janeway: Captain Janeway
Mulder: I'm not Captain Janeway
Janeway: Never mind, what
Mulder: Oh yeah, the question thing, how come you haven't promoted Harry yet?
Harry: Yeah, how come you haven't promoted Harry!?!
Janeway: Why would I
Scully: Oh come on, he's only died, what like four times!
George: Um. excuse me. am I in the right room
Everyone: SHUT UP!!!
George: ok
Tom: Wait a second, weren't we just like yelling at the writers?
Harry: Yes Tom, but we're done now. Now about my promotion.
Janeway: Ok, who thinks Harry should be promoted?
Scully: Me
Mulder: Me
Sid: Me
George: I guess
Max: Me
99: Me
Tom: Didn't you leave
Sid: Yeah, but this is the part in the story where everyone comes back to see Harry get promoted
Tom: Oh
Batman: Me
Robin: Me
CSM: Yeah, whatever
Quinn: Me
Maggie: Yeah, he's cute, why not
Sabrina: Me
Remmy: Me, do you guys have any food?
Colin: I am Colin, I mean me
Melissa: I'm not here till next season but, Me
Tuvok: Me
7of9: Me
The Doctor: Me
Chocatay: Me
BeLanna: Me
Tom: Wait a second.
Janeway: Me, well I guess that means you're promoted, You are now Lieutenant Harry Kim
Tom: Hold on! I get demoted for trying to save a race, and he gets promoted for dying! That is soooooooo not fair!
Janeway: Life's not fair Tom
Tom: Ok, now those stinkin writers.oh, no
Ash: Hi everyone, do you know where the nearest Pokémon center is?
Picachu: Picachu
::everyone stares at Ash and his Picachu and then run from terror::
Ash: Hey where are you going!
------The End---- Well, for now

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